Right Before Flying Home

Original creation date: 23 December 2007

elisha is teasha

teasha's song is a makeout song: more than words

elisha is so hot

technoserve

business teaching ppl re capitalism.

also instructing them how to use new technologies

that are produced by these producers

and these producers

profit

but it is providing a good, which is teaching

ppl the thing re capitalism

capitalism

which is a useful skill they're getting for

free

so it is good.

but capitalism tends to put off the concerns

of future generations.

no one represents them in the senates of the world.

maybe future generations end up paying for

the last one's greatness.

that was the world wars - payback.

some say the next one is global warming.

i am a regular ... .. uh

name

YouTube is the Devil's YouTube

Original creation date: 20 April 2008 (4-20)

addicted to communication ---

addicted to information;

to information about the social world

and society around me

online personalities

television personalities

i saw julia stiles

at least i think it was julia stiles

anyway.

this is powerful shit

i need to read more and write less

i need to write about this project;

microfinance... yes... yay

facebook is sort of a marker of social status

because it was at first only open to US colleges

so its original image was 'elite'

otoh, myspace admits everyone and looks ugly and it's because it's badly planned

facebook is better designed

its weird though because now all you need is internet access and you can go on to facebook.

lol.

youtube is so bizarre

nalts invading happyslips apartment has got to be one of the best in the world.

that should really win an award or something, it's pure fucking genius, genius at its finest.

on a really really really low budget.

this is how i think.

in long leaps and weird looking sentences.

kapital

K(a) = (pi)(t^al)

or

K(a, rho) = i^t(alpha, l)

or K(alpha) = P - Interest + T + alpha*L

where alpha is defined as "living on a prayer";

K = Papermoney - Interest + Television + alpha*LemonCurd

Whats going on... headache... bad...

i got sick at her party, it's so weird.

she's like rachel all over again.

hahahaha

except this time it's me and not tony... lol

thats when inspiration hits... when you least want it to.

some people just wind up writing at night

youtube is such a huge perceived buffer between the real and the imaginary world it feels safe, but it really is not.

its a shame. such unique personalities on youtube.

obviously, communitychannel is immensely talented, and very attractive, obviously; see how i used obviously twice (or thrice) in the sentence.

hahahah... yeah... anyway

nalts. very talented, but in that weird way that only works online...

lisa nova, again immensely talented and attractive.

happyslip.

helpmefindparents' ken tanaka

music is my antidrug

music is my antidrug

i know. watch some of those ridiculous, whatever is my antidrug commercial thingys;

copy them to do 'music is my antidrug'

this whole not having internet though sucking forces me to concentrate.

its a gray area, legally. i would argue that

the cult of youtube is destroying our children

more things i can do with my hands that other people cant

- yes; for example, using chopsticks

- and also; spinning a drumstick like that;

- and also- drumming;

- and also- sign language;

- and also- write;

- and also-

Brand New is very emo.

this is terrible writing because only the topic sentences of every thought are written down. the transitions are missing.

things i CANT do with my hands:

- play the air guitar/ real guitar

- play the bongos;

- dj;

- use a macintosh to save my life;

communitychannel doesn't edit out all the mistakes, which are the things that make her appear so genuine.

my reaction to lonelygirl15,

32974

years after it

actually happened:

i was like...

yeah... okay... whatever...

who the hell cares...

but there must have been alot of people out there

who were actually quite affected by the news. right.

anyway who cares. i cant even focus on this subject,

it's so boring.

how to sing to it as 'dreaming of you' by selena.

DREAMING OF LONELYGIRL15 (NOT)

DJ Scoop

my reaction to lonelygirl15,

late at night when all the world is sleeping

one bazillion jillion years

i stay up and think of you

after it had

and i wish on a star

actually happened:

that somewhere you are thinking

i was like...

of me too...

yeah... okay... whatever...

cause im dreaming of you tonight

who the hell cares...

til tomorrow

but there must have been lots

i'll be holding you tight

of youtubers out there

and there's nowhere in the world

who were actually

in the world i'd rather be

quite affected

than here in my room

by the news.

dreaming about

yes, i see.

you and me

(a beat)

anyway who cares. i cant even focus

wonder if you ever see me and i

on this subject, it's so lame.

wonder if you know i'm there

i dont know what

if you looked in my eyes

i was even talking about.

would you see what's inside [...] there

(a beat)

im going to stop this song now soon

i just wanna hold you close

because i

and so far...

dont know what i am saying no more

all i have are dreams of you

(a beat)

and frankly this is unbelievably boring

and i wait for the day [...] i love you

so goodbye

yes i do!

Hook as sung as 'my reaction to the spam drama'

YouTubeBlues Traveler - Hook, or My Reaction to the LisaNova Spam Drama Three Billion Years After It Happened

DJ Scoop

[Goto 3:17]

my reaction to the whole 'spam' drama with lisanova and communitychannel and channelreviews et cetera, three billion years after it happened:

the only reason this is interesting is because they're both hot.

spam is bad. but seriously... if i got a comment from lisa nova, i'd be happy; wouldn't you? i mean... christ.

it's like in high school when the popular kids had fights and then everybody talked about it for ages.

hahahah

what i'm really addicted to is my brain's amazing capacity to imagine. i crave that feeling above all else.

whereas television deadens your capacity to imagine actively and invites you to imagine passively, youtube encourages you to engage the imagination and becomes an addiction for people like me.

television and socialisation are pretty much the same in terms of the feelings you experience. that's why they're so easily combinable. the only difference in technical terms is that one of them affects you directly and the other only indirectly. treating the outside world like a big huge television show creates a comfortable barrier between oneself and the outside world but chides us to ignore basic realities and disconnect.

the thing is i am not very good at oral expression. it's just the way it is; i am a much better writer than speaker. then again, i'm a much better speaker than other people i know, but in absolute terms i'm in the bottom half. my best expression is through my writing.

in terms of writing i'd say i'm in the 99 percentile. i can write fucking awesome. hahahaha

fucking awesomely is the manner in which i am able to write.

LOOOOL

other things i can't do:

- play the piano

- play the violin

- etc. etc.

- operate a handgun

more things i can do:

- fire a gun

- bowling

- ping pong

- tennis

i miss skating.

what we need is a youtube wiki. WikiYouTube anyone? yes.

Post-Thesis

Original creation date: 5 May 2008 (post-thesis)

my difficulty is that i’ve finished with school and now i have no idea what to do. i have fun, because i’m celebrating that i’m done, but now i have real world concerns to worry about. real world concerns are ridiculous; they are merely your way of fitting into the global economy. the only thing that is real about you is the way you think, and the way you express youself to other people. if you express yourself by talking, then that be the thrst of your arguemtn. if you express yourself by singing, let that be it. and if you express yourlsef any other way, let that be it as well. your possibilirty are endless. what do you want to be? how do you want to express yourlsef? what do you want to do with you rl life? do you want to be a poet? then write. do you want to be an astronaut? then learn engirneering. do you want to be a thinker? then go to school as much as possible. do you want to contribute to societiy and do something valuable for the human race? then stop making videos and go do something with yourself. you’re your best instrument. yout body and your life are your instrument, go do something with it. do you think there

s something worth fighting for in the world? then go fight for it. soldiers do it all the time , why can’t you? you can. and you should that’s what youré hjere in te world to do. so go and do it. there’s a mountain waiting for you. just go and move it. it’s oka if it’s a bit heavy at first byt it’ll come to get ligther the more you move it. trust me.

Santana = i’m feeling you

i love that i can control what i want to hear

so now i am listening to enanitos verdes, lets see what happens

i’m dreaming of various things

it just makes me feel good. i donno. can’t think of anything specific to say

quiero navegar

mi barco pirata aquí

con ella y su bronceador

el lago Michigan

fue el testigo…

hooking up with a gringuita… very nice. that is what t his song is about. yes. strange. ellos son chilenos. in order for this to occur, tienen que ser at least media clase alta. cuantos chilenos conocen el lago Michigan? ask yourself that. at most, i would say five percent… and that’s an overestimate. entonces tienen que ser either upper class or upper middle. no? yo creo.

song changed. sorry

i love typing in “desde”. it’s so easy to type

desde el Puerto, he visto amanecer. gawd, these lyrics are sooooo sad. i can’t believe i like this song so much. it’s sooooooooo good though…. aahhhh

i am just exactly what i need to be. i’m at a level of around 2.5 and i’m perfectly able to control it because i am just better at typing than at speaking. speaking is too fast, it comes ot all weird and staccato. when i am typing i don’t feel that constraint becayse i can control the flow better and it is just more fluid. which is why i often type without capitalizing words, but anyway that is a sidenote.

en silencio escucho el verso de tu despedida.

you know it’s so weird this song is so upbeat and the fucking lyrics are soooooo sad. it’s a lot like (ear;y) cardigans and no doubt if you think about it. i am so weird, i am definitely my own worst nightmare when it comes to psychoanalysis. that’s why i hate people thinking about what my level of awareness of the world is. even though i believe i am more than enough aware and that the rest of the world is just insane. i’m discovering though that that’s not the case, a lot of people are unsatisfied with the current state of the world, and we just don’t have a choice, we don’t have a voice because we don’t have any money behind us. our votes are mostly useless in a world fueled by the ultimate goal of making more money and leaving morals aside. the truth is that death is costly and that’s the reason we do not desire it. death implies a massive slowdown in our relatives’ utility and it’s not acceptable. we do everything to prevent it but the truth is, how do you believe n an afterlife?

afterlives? reincarnation? reincarnation just sounds ludicrous. can’t we just exist eternally after our life is naturally over? of course, if that is our choice. choice should be above all else in this argument. the point however is that as a race, the human race, we don’t believe in something ultimate. there’s no final goal. we just need to make this life our most amazing most influential possible. are we gone for good after we die? maybe. do we reincarnate? maybe. do we go to heaven? maybe. no one knows. no one’s ever come back. i hate sounding deep and meaningful and ian corssland like, but yes, we’re all we’ve got. really.

we should stop killing each other. we should have a vote. we should have a voice. we should be able to decide collectively what is right. we should all be counted somehow or another. people should be able to know what everyone else thinks. not just in a democratic way, but in an ultra-democratic way: the way of the internet, the way that anyone can go online and see what everyone else has to say about any topic. i want to know what the rest of thw world thinks about democracy. about monarchy. about drugs. about pharmaceuticals. about technology. about music. about everything.

--

we usually have the problem that we thinkers forget there’s a world out there, outside our normal perception, ahd that is the way it will stay.

--

people who commit suicide are all cowards.

--

i watched babel last night and i really liked it anyway, and i guess that’s not that weird because everyone who watchies this movie has his little twist on it based on what he or she understood. people that only understood one part miss a big part of the ovie and the ones that understand more of it enjoy it more. it’s pretty clear. and i wish i had understood more of it, i really do.

--

so much more than i could ever give.

--

We’re all we got.

All of us.

All.

--

The Girl Next Door

Original creation date: 3 June 2008

\\i started thinking first about the girl next door. the movie, i mean, not the actual girl next door. i kind of understood the movie in a different way, a way i'd never understood it before. a new perspective, so to speak. lol i love all these cliches. anyhoo; it was interesting to see from the perspective of a different person, one with completely different set of prejudices.

\\when you understand the patterns and prejudices that shape our world and determine our behaviour on a day to day basis,

you understand everything.

--

\\then i started thinking about the

smashing pumpkins

\\and how much i love this band. the prior was 'ava adore'; before that was 'eye'; and then i listened to 'perfect' three times.

__

\\while i listened to 'perfect', i thought of truly amazing, complex theories about economics. the specific topic i centered on was the question,

willl the housing crisis extend to south america? mexico? ecuador?

what are the factors involved?

there are several...

\\i became distracted, and went on:

this is my favorite because i am a. tired, b. free of social ob., 3. just a lil tipsy. perfect.

\\for some reason decided to think about prejudice again from a different tack:

people are prejudiced by their parents and superiors their whole lives and when they become adults they blame the last generation while at the same time teaching the same paranoias to the next.

blind prejudice is one of the worst scourges of our entire era. it is what leads to primal warfare and tribalism.

america is a modern-day rome in many ways. the blind prejudice is a two-way sword, and when it spins it increases towards a vortex of racism and mutually assured destruction.

\\and then i restart, in a loop. this thought is an infinite loop. i will never escape.

\\now after 'perfect' starts 'everlasting gaze', and i feel an urge to write everything down. sitting down, i begin. what are the most important things i have thought today? i believe that understanding everything; the smashing pumpkins; and the housing crisis spread to south america. let us now document this in order. you know, this song reminds me of the girl next door.

the girl next door is the hottest girl on the planet.

Self Awareness

[original creation date: 23 June 2008]

self awareness

staring at the wall:

the wall (n) 1. thing that separates rooms. usu. wood or cement. 2. a message board on facebook. 3. a place where movies are projected sometimes. 4. place to put maps, postcards, pictures, portraits, calendars, mirrors, etc. anything that can be hung. 5. a thing people are driven up: viz. ‘she drove me up the wall when she did that,’ see [[idioms: up the wall]].

back to self-awareness. all while on ‘nicole kea – breakfast in bed’. now on to mraz – i melt with you.

working out is fun

the problem with human law is that it can never be all encompassing, like (e.g.) divine law.

why is life so complicated if life is so simple?

life is simple. so why is it so complicated

exercise is fun

we expect strangers to help us not because we are a friendly society more so than there are worse consequences for everyone if they do not. the incentives of society are aligned, somehow, so that there are free emergency rooms and free public schools. public goods that see to it that people are taken care of. the situation is not really that clear-cut and there are many problems with implementation, but the idea that we should even have these things is actually quite new, and probably of socialist origin. yet all industrialized countries share these characteristics, in their own way.

the iraq war was basically feudal… a conflict instigated by a difference in personalities and resulting hatreds, differences, and ultimately decisions to harm the mutual relationship. money comes into play at the center because of the high profile the players possess.

Léon

[Original creation date: 6 July 2008]

Léon

Poverty & violence: vicious cycle. Poverty --> hardship --> despair --> illegality --> greed --> violence.

Your life is not a waste if you give it up for someone or something of worth.

Instead of ending lives, this time he got to save one; and that’s what saved him.

On Julia and the Fam

Original creation date: 7 July, 2008

there once was a man from heinz

who wrote limericks of only two lines.

thoughts in backward haiku

read the nickel and dimed.

barbara... something.

it's a good book, supposably.

d.c.: julia lane davies

had a huge impact

on my life in oh seven.

i should write the letters of

'nickel and dimed: on (not)

getting by in new york city'

a story of unemployment

hahahahahaha

enough of the haiku so i was saying i should write to karen about that. i was thinking, what would be fun to write to people. karen would maybe appreciate that based on our current shared situation of employlessness. can i say this, employlessness? lol

i was thinking i could write to julia lane davies about the... book... with the nutritional information... which she referred me to.

who the fuck cares.

o reader! it is such a trouble.

i am going to meet a bunch of family! lol! its going to be positively surreal.

i want to ask people what they think about the economy, and what they think of the mortgage crisis, and the value of the dollar, and oil prices, and food prices, and what they think of biofuels, and gm crops, and the eu, and the euro, and russia, and china, and india, and africa, and latin america.

i have a sick fascination with that movie léon. i can't get it out of my head no matter how hard i try.

why the corporatisation of the music industry is a good thing: business investments help alleviate income lost by peer to peer networks, and in the future will completely replace them.

i'm as free as a bird now.

and this bird you cannot change.

and the bird you cannot change.

and this bird you cannot change.

lord knows i can't change.

lord help me, i can't change.

lord, i can't change.

won't you find free bird yeah.

China and Lots of Silliness

Original creation date: 16 Aug 2008

I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I actually really enjoy work. it’s quite insane.

i think i might be getting old.

curiously, by putting on this chain, i feel freer than ever. all i have really done is substitute one yoke for another, but because this one is of my own choosing, it feels amazingly refreshing and new.

i really enjoy interacting with the human race. it gives me release from interacting with the same people over and over. it’s very liberating. i feel like i am part of something larger, and that gives me comfort. i enjoy being a cog in the machine, because it’s a cog i picked in a place i picked.

this job also allows me to practice talking to people which is something i’ve never been overly good at but i really want to learn how to do it. it’s the most useful skill in life, probably.

i want to learn as much as possible about microfinance while i am here.

my co workers are awesome. they’re really nice. it’s amazing how nice they are

i have amazing friends

ihave an amazing family

in some ways my life is perfect. almost too perfect.

things tend to entroy over time. the less entropy exists, the more things will tend to it. highly organized societies of vast complexity can be shattered by a simple event,

Chinese society is a bizarre series of steps on a clumsy road to (hopefully) participatory democracy. what the US had with Britain is amalogous what Taiwan has with the mainland. britaun still retains the queen, of course, but now parliament and the prime minister share actual power. the communist party is like the ‘house of lords’, and the inner party acts as a kind of prime minister, with the actual head as a sort of figurehead, like the queen. very well organized, very well structured, but inherently flawed because it not openly democratic, only guardedly so.

make the website for the consultorio. it should really have one.

all the good that that consultorio does. it should be known by the world. or at least ecuador. half of ecuador knows my grandfather. its craxy how successful he is there. he’s probably the most successful person i know. like, really know.

i could learn a whole lot from him… i don’t know why i don’t talk to him more often. its really hard with the distance. and he’s always sort of busy, as i see it. but i bet he would like to talk too. it would be really interesting… whatever he would want to tell me i would just listen and try to absorb it. hmm maybe i can get someone to videotape them two and tell them whatever on video see if that could work… gee, i wish there were a service on the internet that did that. oh wait, there is.

new york gets to be our new babel because it’s almost like it’s its fate.

this city is fascinating but i wish i had a greater connection to nature here. that’s part of the reason i need the sun so much – it is one of my only remaining connections. weed is another one. and good food is the last. almost everythiunbg else i do involves machines. trains, computers, printers, copy machines, faxes, more trains, more computers, cell phones, mp3 players,

---

so my theory background for a nice story that can be background for x-files:

the aliens exist, are here, and control many of the earth’s top institutions, such as the UN and several governments, though which ones is always changing.

the aliens live in mars, the jovian moons, saturn’s moons, and some of neptune’s. (in, not on, because they usually live underground.) the aliens originated in mars, but migrated to all the other habitable planets and planetoids millions of years ago, including earth. earth

things we said today. like i said that its strange when you know someone likes you but you don’t really. or at least i really think that’s the case. like Nicole… its not that i don’t like her, i just don’t like her. like like like her, like. dig? or like whats her face. shes too like… ah.. i dnno. that’s why you never say anuthing because youd rather have the friend than risk ruining the friendship. it’s a dominant strategy, the other one is always a gambit. then again only the biggest gamblers ever get any real spoils. its not always luck. if you calculate it you can win. if you just gamble on stupid targets youre going to lose. gamble on winnings you can calculate. gamble on chance not on luck. probability is your friend.

oh man, today i had the best meal ever. this whole working in Brooklyn is really working wonders because i’ve never had such good food in new york. and it’s so cheap too. its like i have the best of both worlds right now. granter it costs some money, but its totally worth it. i wish i made more money so i could save more, but overall i can’t complain because my life is pretty sweet. almost too sweet, like i was saying before. its like im waiting for the shoe to drop, so i am grasping for stability everywhere to make the fall less severe. i want to reach a non-entropinc balance, or at least a balance of low entropy, like a planet revolving on its axis and around its celestial orb, its mother star, its birthplace. yes, in a lot of ways, i aspire to be like the earth. to be more than the sum of my parts. to be protected by the solar system, to revolve around its center, to have a profound impact on the development of an intelligent race, and to contribute to its expansion thoutrhgouth the solar system and the galaxy beyond.

… or tracy. its just like… im just not interested. and the ones that i am they are a little eh… like i like them but do i really like them enough? its hard to say.

the civil rights movement is an example of a small event destabilizing a highly organized and complex system. rosa parks, nineteen fifty three. a small event of gigantic proportions. the Tiananmen protests was another. the crucial events leading up to any great war are such events. the subtle interactions between heads of state. September eleventh. the death of Alexander the great. the survival of Hitler past the age of 21. the boston tea party.

or like how a single bankruptcy can lead to complete economic disaster if it’s the right one and is at the right time. right size, right people, right place, right time. all you need is one. after that they all fall… like dominoes.

America went through its process in the 18^th century. Britain went though its own during the 19^th, i wanna say. and the third world is undergoing its own as we speak. first power must be consolidated and secured before the rule of law can have any effect. with no credible leviathan, there is no law and order. if the leviathan can credibly punish you, the vast majority of people will voluntarily slip into line because that becomes the dominant strategy. self-preservation always rules the day, only the incentives have changed.

china is undergoing a bizarre conversion because, like Britain in the 19^th century, it is going from a monarchy to a quasi-hereditary system of aristocracy based on loyalty and merit. its current strategy is only sometimes dominant. its inherent instability lies in the fact that as a non-participatory democracy, random shocks are much less predictable and can result in disastrous and rapid consequences. within participatory democracy there is an established system for people to voice their concerns about the world, but a dictatorship lacks this formality and many of the institutions necessary for it, and as a result the collective unconscious of the whole society suffers. as tension builds up, the leviathan can do nothing but wait for the next outburst, and rearm. eventually the levee breaks and quantum events build up into planetary dramas.

the aliens have been here much longer than we have. they evolved on mars back when it had water and was the most inhabitable place in the solar system. mars had a billion-year head start on the earth because it cooled faster and was thus able to support life at a much earlier stage of its development, also thanks to its lower gravity and proximity to the mineral-rich asteroids. the aliens have lost count over the eons of how long they have been sentient. they have colonized the earth for millions of years before we existed. the aliens engineered the meteor that hit the earth and killed the dinosaurs, making the world inhabitable for them. unlike us, they did not litter the planet as they had learned long ago how to be self-sustaining in space. they left earth en masse about two thousand years ago, when the great civilizations of the earth were on the rise. only a few remained, either hiding or assuming human form somehow.

what are the Egyptian gods and goddesses but alien forms or alien creations? what is the plumed serpent but an alien symbol? what are the Christmas island wonders but alien masterpieces, or chess pieces? what are the intricate crop circles but alien modern art? and yet they do not reveal themselves, because we are not ready. we do not believe. but i want to believe. most people do not. they refuse to even think about it, to consider it.

i want a webcam.

Russia… one step forward, two steps back. that is the story of its life. always playing catch up, the third world of the west. and yet impossible to ignore thanks to its sheer size and its military muscle.

i love being awake.

Vivat Comoedia

I don’t think i can get used to this neverending apprehension, this Western stress that is a vital component of life in new york. worrying about a jillion little things all at once, on top of your health and your career and your libido. it feels like too much—am i the only one that feels this is too much? it’s too much.

a few weeks ago sameera and i were playing monopoly. as a good economist, i quickly manoeuvred her out of her hard-earned cash, even though i started out losing the game. she was furious, but i found her fury very cute. eventually she became “bored”, and being the good lawyer that she is, offered me a draw. she didn’t phrase it as a draw; she said she wanted to end the game on a positive note and wanted nothing more than to be able to shake my hand, say good game, and go back to being friends. i accepted, because the way she stated it sounded much more appealing than a plain draw, and made more sense than playing for another hour to get a result that didn’t matter.

it’s things like that that make me feel guilty. whenever i do take it on myself to think big things, have amazing thoughts, i rarely ever write them down; and even when i do, i usually fail to act on them. i’ve had ideas for articles, novels, entire sagas; career paths, life plans; and plain things from a to z. but i’ve never put much into action because the excitement fades so quickly that it’s almost not even worth it. it’s a real shame; it’s almost as if, having thought of the idea, i become immediately satiated even without putting anything into practice, and so there the idea stays, on paper, or in my head, and is never carried out.

this, then, is to remedy that; because at least if i have my ideas online, i will be able to at least pretend that i am going forward with one of the goals, which is to put everything online. the ideas, the pointless stuff in between—everything.

yay! to quote Nietzsche, Vivat comoedia!