Original creation date: 16 Aug 2008
I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I actually really enjoy work. it’s quite insane.
i think i might be getting old.
curiously, by putting on this chain, i feel freer than ever. all i have really done is substitute one yoke for another, but because this one is of my own choosing, it feels amazingly refreshing and new.
i really enjoy interacting with the human race. it gives me release from interacting with the same people over and over. it’s very liberating. i feel like i am part of something larger, and that gives me comfort. i enjoy being a cog in the machine, because it’s a cog i picked in a place i picked.
this job also allows me to practice talking to people which is something i’ve never been overly good at but i really want to learn how to do it. it’s the most useful skill in life, probably.
i want to learn as much as possible about microfinance while i am here.
my co workers are awesome. they’re really nice. it’s amazing how nice they are
i have amazing friends
ihave an amazing family
in some ways my life is perfect. almost too perfect.
things tend to entroy over time. the less entropy exists, the more things will tend to it. highly organized societies of vast complexity can be shattered by a simple event,
Chinese society is a bizarre series of steps on a clumsy road to (hopefully) participatory democracy. what the US had with Britain is amalogous what Taiwan has with the mainland. britaun still retains the queen, of course, but now parliament and the prime minister share actual power. the communist party is like the ‘house of lords’, and the inner party acts as a kind of prime minister, with the actual head as a sort of figurehead, like the queen. very well organized, very well structured, but inherently flawed because it not openly democratic, only guardedly so.
make the website for the consultorio. it should really have one.
all the good that that consultorio does. it should be known by the world. or at least ecuador. half of ecuador knows my grandfather. its craxy how successful he is there. he’s probably the most successful person i know. like, really know.
i could learn a whole lot from him… i don’t know why i don’t talk to him more often. its really hard with the distance. and he’s always sort of busy, as i see it. but i bet he would like to talk too. it would be really interesting… whatever he would want to tell me i would just listen and try to absorb it. hmm maybe i can get someone to videotape them two and tell them whatever on video see if that could work… gee, i wish there were a service on the internet that did that. oh wait, there is.
new york gets to be our new babel because it’s almost like it’s its fate.
this city is fascinating but i wish i had a greater connection to nature here. that’s part of the reason i need the sun so much – it is one of my only remaining connections. weed is another one. and good food is the last. almost everythiunbg else i do involves machines. trains, computers, printers, copy machines, faxes, more trains, more computers, cell phones, mp3 players,
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so my theory background for a nice story that can be background for x-files:
the aliens exist, are here, and control many of the earth’s top institutions, such as the UN and several governments, though which ones is always changing.
the aliens live in mars, the jovian moons, saturn’s moons, and some of neptune’s. (in, not on, because they usually live underground.) the aliens originated in mars, but migrated to all the other habitable planets and planetoids millions of years ago, including earth. earth
things we said today. like i said that its strange when you know someone likes you but you don’t really. or at least i really think that’s the case. like Nicole… its not that i don’t like her, i just don’t like her. like like like her, like. dig? or like whats her face. shes too like… ah.. i dnno. that’s why you never say anuthing because youd rather have the friend than risk ruining the friendship. it’s a dominant strategy, the other one is always a gambit. then again only the biggest gamblers ever get any real spoils. its not always luck. if you calculate it you can win. if you just gamble on stupid targets youre going to lose. gamble on winnings you can calculate. gamble on chance not on luck. probability is your friend.
oh man, today i had the best meal ever. this whole working in Brooklyn is really working wonders because i’ve never had such good food in new york. and it’s so cheap too. its like i have the best of both worlds right now. granter it costs some money, but its totally worth it. i wish i made more money so i could save more, but overall i can’t complain because my life is pretty sweet. almost too sweet, like i was saying before. its like im waiting for the shoe to drop, so i am grasping for stability everywhere to make the fall less severe. i want to reach a non-entropinc balance, or at least a balance of low entropy, like a planet revolving on its axis and around its celestial orb, its mother star, its birthplace. yes, in a lot of ways, i aspire to be like the earth. to be more than the sum of my parts. to be protected by the solar system, to revolve around its center, to have a profound impact on the development of an intelligent race, and to contribute to its expansion thoutrhgouth the solar system and the galaxy beyond.
… or tracy. its just like… im just not interested. and the ones that i am they are a little eh… like i like them but do i really like them enough? its hard to say.
the civil rights movement is an example of a small event destabilizing a highly organized and complex system. rosa parks, nineteen fifty three. a small event of gigantic proportions. the Tiananmen protests was another. the crucial events leading up to any great war are such events. the subtle interactions between heads of state. September eleventh. the death of Alexander the great. the survival of Hitler past the age of 21. the boston tea party.
or like how a single bankruptcy can lead to complete economic disaster if it’s the right one and is at the right time. right size, right people, right place, right time. all you need is one. after that they all fall… like dominoes.
America went through its process in the 18th century. Britain went though its own during the 19th, i wanna say. and the third world is undergoing its own as we speak. first power must be consolidated and secured before the rule of law can have any effect. with no credible leviathan, there is no law and order. if the leviathan can credibly punish you, the vast majority of people will voluntarily slip into line because that becomes the dominant strategy. self-preservation always rules the day, only the incentives have changed.
china is undergoing a bizarre conversion because, like Britain in the 19th century, it is going from a monarchy to a quasi-hereditary system of aristocracy based on loyalty and merit. its current strategy is only sometimes dominant. its inherent instability lies in the fact that as a non-participatory democracy, random shocks are much less predictable and can result in disastrous and rapid consequences. within participatory democracy there is an established system for people to voice their concerns about the world, but a dictatorship lacks this formality and many of the institutions necessary for it, and as a result the collective unconscious of the whole society suffers. as tension builds up, the leviathan can do nothing but wait for the next outburst, and rearm. eventually the levee breaks and quantum events build up into planetary dramas.
the aliens have been here much longer than we have. they evolved on mars back when it had water and was the most inhabitable place in the solar system. mars had a billion-year head start on the earth because it cooled faster and was thus able to support life at a much earlier stage of its development, also thanks to its lower gravity and proximity to the mineral-rich asteroids. the aliens have lost count over the eons of how long they have been sentient. they have colonized the earth for millions of years before we existed. the aliens engineered the meteor that hit the earth and killed the dinosaurs, making the world inhabitable for them. unlike us, they did not litter the planet as they had learned long ago how to be self-sustaining in space. they left earth en masse about two thousand years ago, when the great civilizations of the earth were on the rise. only a few remained, either hiding or assuming human form somehow.
what are the Egyptian gods and goddesses but alien forms or alien creations? what is the plumed serpent but an alien symbol? what are the Christmas island wonders but alien masterpieces, or chess pieces? what are the intricate crop circles but alien modern art? and yet they do not reveal themselves, because we are not ready. we do not believe. but i want to believe. most people do not. they refuse to even think about it, to consider it.
i want a webcam.
Russia… one step forward, two steps back. that is the story of its life. always playing catch up, the third world of the west. and yet impossible to ignore thanks to its sheer size and its military muscle.
i love being awake.
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